And Soonest Our Best Men with Thee do Go

The title is a line from "Death Be Not Proud," by John Donne, which is (perhaps rather predictably?) my favorite poem. However, though I've thought about it a lot, I've never quite understood that line until just now. Now, which is when it is brutishly true. Because it feels like death (the "thee," above) claims "our best men" the "soonest." But not just "feels like"...it really does.

In the span of nine months three of my friends have died. The third was just on Friday night (a car accident out in L.A. ). But all three of them had so much potential, had so much ahead of them, had so so so many people who loved them. All three of them had this way of connecting with people, could make you feel so at ease. All three had smiles that they used a lot. All three were in their twenties.

They were our best men, and death claimed them the soonest.

It's tempting to say, "It's just not right." Especially when you see how hurt the people are who are left behind...

It is tempting to say a lot of things. And think a lot of things.

Of anything that happens, experiencing the death of a friend makes me think the most. Particularly when you don't know which kingdom ruled over their life. It really causes you to reevaluate the way you are living, and what you believe.

Reevaluating isn't a bad thing. Nick and Sue came over on Saturday evening, and we were talking about that. Nick mentioned that one verse about the heart of the wise being in the house of mourning, as opposed to the house of celebration; with the result that I now understand that verse a lot better.

So, from this death I have learned two things: the meaning of a line in my favorite poem, and the meaning of a verse. 

However, it in no way justifies the death. I would rather suffer my ignorance than see friends die.