Cats, Car Stunts, and Kids

The past week I have engaged in several very teenagery pursuits. At least, that is what it has felt like, because they are things that teenagers typically do (or so I am told).

One, I am care taking a neighbor's (as in, 5 miles from me) house while she is away trying to arrange for herself to move out to her sister's. The job involves feeding the sickly cats (she gave me a whole speech of everything that is wrong with them....really, I don't know how they are alive. One has a dysfunctional bladder, dysfunctional bowel, stomach problems, liver and kidney problems...and its hair is falling out), cleaning up after them (a chore considering the aforementioned ailments), watering the plants (mostly cacti so there is no point...), and bringing in the mail (which consists entirely of animal humane society newsletters...if it is against the law to tell you that, I hereby formally apologize to the US Postal service and any and all government agents reading my blog).

Last year when I helped her there was a horse too, but she sold that. Which, in my opinion, is sad, because he was fun to take care of. But with just the cats it is simple enough, I suppose. Anyone can do it. It's not like there is a cow to milk or anything. Not that I know how to milk a cow...pity, because it would be a useful skill to have. In the past, dad has always told me to never learn, otherwise every single neighbor in the county would call me up every time they wanted to go on vacation. I guess that means I could be rich right now, because I would never be short of work. Then again, the terms "dairy farmer" and "largesse" somehow don't go very well together, so maybe I'm better off as it is.

I don't think I would ever have guessed that house-sitting could be so exciting though. First, I risk my life driving over there every day because of the fracking trucks (as in, the trucks that carry the water for the fracking). Most of the drivers are nice and drive on the far edge of the road, but others decide that they are going to go right down the middle and all you can do is hug the berm and pray you won't end up in the ditch, or in the hospital, like 4 of my teenage friends have due to their encounters with gas trucks (I have decided it is a miracle mom and dad let me in the driver's seat at all). Second, her house (if you can even call it one) is not the most secure of a building. You always wonder if something (or someone) besides cats is going to be there to meet you when you step inside. The first morning there was a raucous noise coming from the stove pipe. It was probably a squirrel, but for the first couple moments before I deduced its location I thought for sure it was human.

Since nothing came of that, I've felt pretty safe the past week ("what are the odds?" you think). BUT this afternoon I went over after giving Isaac my usual "if I'm not back in 30 minutes come after me with the dog and a gun" spiel, and, after taking care of the inside stuff, went out to the back porch to feed the outside cat. And there it was. Something that had not been there the day before. A bike. I briefly registered "nice-looking bike," but after that pleasant thought a million not-so-nice ones rushed through. My pulse skyrocketed, and something funny happened to my breathing (I'm not sure if I stopped breathing, or if I began hyperventilating....all I remember is it changed). And everything seemed to get really quiet. So I stood right where I was and listened. Tried to think rationally as all my senses became alert. 

And then decided this was immensely fun.

So I dumped the food into the dish, jumped back inside, relocked the back door, ran out the front door and relocked it, then ran for the car. I had left the window all the way down, so I briefly considered diving through it into the driver's seat....but decided that would be overkill. Instead I just opened the door and slid in, turning the key in the same motion (probably quicker and a lot more fluid than the dive would have been...). Then I had another brief consideration moment. How about a 180, since I'm not facing the exit? Was it a not-so-coincidence that I just learned how to do one on Saturday? Of course, it is all in theory, because I only read about it...never actually did it...but...

Let's just say that idea got canned too. 1) I had Andrew's car 2) I had Andrew's car 3) Let's not flip Andrew's car. Good reasons, wot?

So I just threw it in reverse and sped (carefully, to the concerned reader) backwards out the driveway.

Thus ended my adventure for today.

Yesterday was another adventure, if not of a different nature; though still in the teenagery category I suppose. Derrick Jeror has been working at Kingdom Bound this week, and somehow ended up with multiple VIP tickets to various venues. So Nicole went up to take advantage of one of those tickets, which meant the chilluns needed watching. Yours truly became said watcher. Thankfully, I only had Josh (3) and Tasha (4) from 8:30-5. Natalie (5) and Allie (1) were dropped off at suppertime by someone who had had them for the day, so I only had all four for several hours. And, again thankfully, Mariah and Brooke came to help me put them to bed. If they had not come, I swear I would have died. Or at least screamed exactly like all the little kids were screaming. So it was with a lot of reluctance that I let Mariah and Brooke leave...but I hung onto the hope that Tanya would arrive within the hour to take the night watch. Which she did, and by nine I was headed home.

I've had some interesting baby sitting experiences before, but that topped them all.

You can bet I was quite happy to arrive home and fall into bed, though it took a good hour to relax. When I did fall asleep, all of my dreams were of a chaotic nature. Maybe I'll have better luck tonight.