Delayed Gratification

Having a bit of oddly warm weather on Tuesday made me happy for 3 reasons. One, I got to take my little boys outside to play, which makes babysitting 10x more fun. Two, it gave me reason to think maybe just maybe I'll get away without buying snow tires this year, since I won't be here by the end of January. Three, I didn't have to rehearse the motivational speech I give myself every time I step from a warm building into the great outdoors. It goes something like this:

"Mattea, you are a strong woman. Embrace the cold, don't run from it. You are a child of the North. You can handle this. You were born during the blizzard of '93, so snow is practically a part of you. The endurance to handle cold weather runs in your veins too because of your Native American heritage. They were a strong people, who lived out pre-global warming winters in tipis. You can therefore make it from the grocery store to your car in the parking lot bundled up in a nice warm coat."

I'm such a wimp; and in more ways than one. Saturday night after an absolutely crazy, 10 hour day at work, in which we had 400 people come through the museum in under 3 hours because of special events, I meandered over to Sparkle. It hadn't exactly been a planned move, but Vail and I toyed around with the idea, and decided to at least see what was going on. I had a vague hope of running into and then hanging out with at least one out of my hundred friends that must be there (yes, I could have texted peeps but I'm lame and didn't feel like trying or committing to anything). So we walked up Mk St. And then we walked down Mk St. Had it not been for Kev's (Vail's bf) height, I would have lost them multiple times.

I saw no one that I knew except kind of a friend-of-a-friend, and 10 other people from work, and came to the conclusion after 20 minutes that I wasn't a fan of Sparkle anyway. From my brief tour, all I saw was too many people, too much greasy food, and not enough Christmas. Not even enough "holiday." The radio station that was there wasn't even playing festive music. Since when is Taylor's "We Are Never Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Getting Back Together" a Christmas song?

I concluded that the only thing fun about Sparkle is that you could hang out with your friends and maybe eat some food if the restaurant wasn't booked or out of food altogether. And honestly, I'd prefer to do that not during Sparkle, when everyone else is.

So I left.

And went home and did what I always do when I get home: mope.

Okay, not always. It was just particularly poignant because I was super tired and hungry and had to work the next day (Sunday) since a coworker pulled a fast one on me. Technically, I'm super thankful for any extra opportunity to work. It's just that the impractical side of me (which is most of me) revolts whenever it does happen. Also, the Communist side of me, which says: "Wait, I have to actually work to get to school in Italy? You're not just going to hand me someone else's hard earned money and tell me to go have the time of my life?"

I think what is difficult is that even though I'm raking in what feels like tons of money right now, I haven't been able to touch any of it except for gas and fees associated with school. If this was my first lesson in delayed gratification I'd be thankful it, but my whole life has been a lesson in delayed gratification so I'm struggling to embrace it yet again.

Saints Bible Institute will be worth it though. Of that, way deep down, I am confidant.